Ways to develop self-control. What is the knowledge of self-control in personality development

In man there are the beginnings of many qualities, both good and bad. Some of them are pronounced and noticeable, some are more secretive. The combination of these properties forms the character. Now we will talk about an interesting and important quality, called self-control.

There is no need to give abstruse scientific explanations, since most readers, upon hearing this word, will immediately understand its meaning. Self control - is the ability to control one's feelings, emotions and behavior. Self-control goes hand in hand with many useful qualities.

For example, purposefulness. You can set a goal for yourself, have a high level of motivation and calculate a plan of action, but in the end not reach the goal. With what it can be connected? Something can distract you, seduce you with something more pleasant, and even banal laziness can make itself felt. A collected and self-controlled person will be able to avoid these traps.. Thus, we have come to another important property - composure, which is a prerequisite for self-control. Also in conjunction with self-control is awareness and willpower.

Psychology says that people have the hardest time getting their emotions under control. Self-control allows you to subordinate them to your mind. Self-control is an understanding of one’s imperfection, and the desire to become better, manage oneself as much as possible, get rid of one’s own complexes, and minimize the influence of everything that surrounds oneself. it strength of character to act as required by the situation, regardless of their own condition. Self-control is something that will be useful for everyone to master, regardless of the type of activity.

So, a short list of qualities that follow self-control:

• mindfulness
• composure
• Discipline
• Confidence in your strength
• composure
• purposefulness
• Patience
• self-restraint

Benefits of self-control:

• Managing your emotions and actions. Surely you already understand that this is vital. At a high level of self-control, even those around you will fall under your influence.
• Freedom from external and internal restrictions that can confuse and lead away from the goal.
• Self respect and respect for others.
• Calmness and the ability to feel great in society.

Now let's look at practical examples where such a skill helps.

That's all good, now it remains to figure out how to develop this useful quality in itself. It is well known that absolutely everything is trained, we can say that such personality traits are mental muscles.

It is good when parents teach children from childhood to discipline and self-control, however, if these nuances were missed in your upbringing, it is never too late to rebuild your lifestyle and yourself. You can start with the mode. Go to bed on time, limit the time spent on the Internet, eat according to the schedule, and so on. By the way, healthy eating is also a good remedy development of self-control, because not everyone can resist tasty, but unhealthy food.

The next method is the development of punctuality and the fulfillment of the promise. Thus, awareness develops, the skill of objectively assessing your strengths appears, as a bonus - people will be pleased to do business with you. Another great tool is self-development. It concerns the physical and psychological spheres. The same charge, or visit psychological trainings, or simply learning new skills and improving existing ones.

As you can see, the best testing ground for the development of self-control is life itself, and it is enough to adjust your schedule and pay more attention to the aspects discussed above, integrating them into your normal activities.

Psychology warns of the possible negative consequences of people who are regularly in mental tension. Constant control of behavior and suppression of emotions may well affect the state of health of the body. But really there is never too much self-control, the main thing is to do everything wisely m. No need to approach yourself too self-critically, stay in the negative and constant tension.

Stay positive, learn to enjoy small victories take time to rest and everything will be fine. Sometimes you can hold a preventive relaxation event, for example, beat a boxing bag, throw out emotions somewhere in a deserted place through a scream, or visit a special room for emotional unloading, where you can smash dishes and plates, of course, if your city has something like that.

Developing self-control is not an easy task, but it is possible to make changes in your life and cope with impulsivity. Feeling in control of yourself and your actions will lead to a feeling of greater control over your life, a sense of power and authority over who you are, and an increased sense of self-worth.

Steps

Self-control at the moment of desire

Learn to recognize impulsive thoughts. Having strategies to help you resist temptation at the moment of impulse will help you develop self-control. To get started, make a list of the habits in your behavior that you would like to control and situations that often provoke this behavior. If you can recognize those moments when you have a desire to act impulsively, you will be more ready to create a backlash between desire and action.

Set time limits for impulsive thoughts. Creating space in your thinking will help you reconsider your actions from a more rational point of view. It will also help you learn to create a delay in your actions, and not just act on desires.

• For example, if spending money or shopping is one of the areas where you want to develop self-control, make it a habit to take a twenty-four-hour pause before buying anything. You can write down in a small notebook what you wanted to buy, and after twenty-four hours, review your list and decide whether you really need these things.

1. Try breathing with your belly. This tip can be helpful if you're trying to quit smoking or curb your eating habits. If you have a craving for a cigarette or food, instead of immediately giving in to the craving, set a timer on your phone for five minutes and focus on belly breathing. Remind yourself that cravings are just cravings, they are not necessary. Take a five-minute timeout, breathe, and imagine the craving slowly dissipating with each exhalation. Pay attention to how you feel. Do you still want to mindlessly eat or give in to the urge to smoke?

   Find a healthy distraction. It will be harder for you to avoid cravings if you just sit and obsess over them. Instead, acknowledge your desire and actively try to distract yourself with something else. This helps take your mind off the factor that triggered the craving and allows you to really decide if you want to give in to the impulse.

   • Sometimes it can be helpful to do things with your hands, like embroidery, knitting, origami, or even texting a friend.

2. Find another activity. In addition to short-term "distractions," actively try to replace behavioral habits that you would like to control with separate alternatives. By giving yourself more time to calm your mind, you will be able to make clearer, more independent decisions.

   • For example, if you're trying to stop wasting money, you might go for a walk in a park or forest where you won't be able to buy anything. And if you're trying to control overeating, develop the habit of going for a run or to the gym when you feel the urge to overeat.

   Self-control in the long run

   1. Make a list of habits and behaviors that you would like to control. If a loved one has hinted at some of your habits, take note of this hint. Remember that true change comes from within, so listen to your intuition and honor your own feelings, but also consider the feedback you get from loved ones. You must be committed to change and developing self-control in order to truly change your behavior.

      • For example, it can be smoking, overeating, work habits, productivity, alcohol, temper control, shopping, spending money, etc.

   2. Choose the main behavior you would like to control. We all have areas of life where we could use more discipline and self-control, so don't be too hard on yourself and take your time. Look at your list and choose what you would like to work on. Changing habits takes time, and developing self-control takes effort. Respect your energy and set yourself realistic goals that you can achieve.

      • When choosing, remember that you can only control your own behavior. For example, you shouldn't choose something like "have a good relationship with parents” as it also requires effort on the part of your parents. It would be better to formulate the goal as “improve your habits in communicating with parents”, since in this case it depends only on your behavior.
      • Be realistic about what changes you can make that fit into your life, your time, and your abilities. If you try to change everything all at once, no matter how ambitious your goals may be, you risk sabotaging your efforts and giving up.

   3. Explore patterns of behavior. Try to learn as much as you can about how others have developed self-control in similar situations. Ask your friends and loved ones who have made the same changes in their lives. Search the Internet for information about the specific behavior you are trying to change.

      • For example, if you're determined to kick your binge eating habit, find books on impulsive eating (or eating disorders) and learn as many useful strategies as you can about how to develop self-control eating. For example, you can keep a food diary and write down all the strategies that you come across in it. This will give you more opportunities to discover what works for you.

   4. Be honest with yourself. Keep a personal diary so you can personalize the experience of making changes. Developing awareness of your own emotional factors that cause impulsivity and lack of self-control will help you recognize unwanted behavior. Cultivating awareness of impulsive behavior will help you feel more in control of yourself and will also help you make decisions about how you want to develop self-control. It all depends on what is right for you, and developing self-control begins with understanding why you are sometimes impulsive.

      • Using the example of overeating, look at how you feel when you start impulsively eating. Have you noticed that you start eating uncontrollably when you are stressed? Perhaps you overeat when you are celebrating something. Have you noticed that you overeat when you feel anxious or sad?

   5. Set realistic goals for yourself. It often happens that you fail to develop self-control precisely because you are disappointed in yourself, because you could not change overnight or you cannot immediately quit a bad habit. Set yourself up for the success of your efforts by setting realistic goals and gradually moving away from the habit, do not try to quit everything overnight.

      • For example, if you are trying to develop self-control in compulsive eating, do not immediately try to switch only to fruits and vegetables, because this is too drastic a diet change, not to mention that it is impossible to maintain such a diet for a long time.

   6. Mark your progress. Always remember that the main thing is progress, not perfection. Keep a calendar specifically designed for your efforts. Make a note of the days you seem to lack self-control, and make notes in your diary about things leading up to that that might have triggered impulsive behavior. The more aware you are of yourself and your patterns of behavior, the easier it will be for you to see the coming of a difficult time.

      • For example, perhaps the holidays are a busy period for you, and you notice that you eat a lot more during this time simply because of the pressure of all the things that you need to redo. Next year, you will know that the holidays are the period when self-control becomes for you. challenging task then you're ready to reinforce the strategies you've learned from learning about overeating.

   7. Motivate yourself. Determine for yourself the specific reasons why you want to control the behavior, and constantly remind yourself of them. Try to find in yourself intrinsic motivation and write about it in your diary. You can also write a list of reasons on a small piece of paper and always carry it with you in your wallet or purse, or program reminders on your phone.

      • For example, you are trying to develop self-control when quitting smoking. You can write down the cost of buying cigarettes, their impact on your health, smell, dental care, and so on. Also, make a list of all the positive effects of quitting smoking. You can include in this list such items: more money for other, more useful spending, white teeth, easier breathing, and so on. Write down all the reasons that might motivate you to quit smoking.

   8. Channel your energy into positive behaviors. Try to find new habits that will replace the behavior you want to control. See this process as a path to discovering what works for you. And try not to get discouraged if a certain strategy doesn't quite work for you, just move on to something else. Taking care of yourself will strengthen your active attempts to change and develop more self-control.

      • For example, if you feel full when you're stressed, try exploring other ways to deal with stress. Try various relaxation techniques and replacement strategies, such as belly breathing, yoga, exercise, meditation, martial arts or taichi.

   9. Find a new hobby. Dive into a new hobby, such as cars, puzzles, motorcycles, sports, or painting, among a myriad of other possible hobbies, can be a wonderful distraction while developing self-control. Part of changing behavior is replacing that behavior with something healthier and less impulsive.

      • There are many resources on the Internet that you can turn to to start this process. This could be, for example, Pinterest or other social media groups where you can meet other people with similar interests.

   10. Encourage yourself to change. Actively encourage yourself to make the changes you want in your life. A positive attitude can really affect your ability to develop self-control. Don't be too hard on yourself if you feel like you're not achieving your goals. Focus on continuous effort and let go of perceived setbacks. Just try again.

       • Use a diary to rephrase negative statements if you feel like you've been on impulse rather than making progress towards your goal. For example, if your goal is to stop spending money impulsively, but you went shopping, reevaluate your goals and remind yourself that you had a really bad day. Write down in your journal how you could do things differently next time, like going to yoga class. Praise yourself for your awareness and be willing to try again.

   11. Use your support system. Let your friends and loved ones know that you are trying to change your behavior. Ask your supporters if you can call or write to them if you need support. To believe in yourself and change your life, you must also allow other people to help you. While self-motivation plays a critical role in developing self-control, allowing the other people in your life to encourage, motivate, and listen when you need it will help strengthen your resolve to make a change.

   12. If you are struggling with the use of alcohol or other substances.
   13. If you have developed dangerous or addictive sexual behavior.
   14. If you have repeatedly found yourself in an abusive or dangerous relationship.
   15. If you are trying to control your anger or outbursts and have hurt yourself or someone else in the process.

• Change won't happen overnight, so be patient and stay calm.
• Don't forget to get enough sleep. This will support your physical and mental health, as well as allow you to take a break from thinking about your behavior.
• Set yourself a system of light punishment. For example, if you bite your nails, then every time you catch yourself doing this, go do some housework or service, or chew gum to distract yourself from the habit and not find yourself some new one.
• Don't punish yourself for making mistakes. People are not perfect. Everyone can make a mistake.

Warnings

• Don't get caught up in your desire to gain control. It is harmful, for example, not to eat at all. Don't let self-control become just another addiction.
• Recognize situations when friends or loved ones encourage you to engage in destructive behavior. Sometimes the people around us provoke us to develop bad habits. In situations like this, you need to take a step back and know when to say, "Guys, I just can't be involved in this right now." If they insist, ask, "Do you know this is hurting me?" See if their behavior improves after that.

Self-control is the ability to restrain momentary urges and impulses, sacrificing them in favor of long-term goals.

Who doesn't want to achieve this?

Most of us believe that it is important to have a strong will to resist temptation. We hope that we can stop cravings for another scoop of ice cream, refrain from outbursts of anger at a loved one, force ourselves to finish an important project, even if we don’t like the job at all.

Yes, in most cases, self-control - useful thing. Society needs people with a high level of self-control, who can suppress their momentary desires, think about long-term goals, and take thoughtful actions to achieve them.

The first sweet moment of dazzling fury is a miracle how good. Teeth itch like a puppy. Self-control is a form of lying, whatever one may say.
Max Fry. The book of loneliness

What if self-control is too much?

Or maybe there is such a thing as excessive self-control?

Recent research confirms this.

It turns out that excessive self-control has become a real problem for some people. This is the key idea on which Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO DBT) is based. it new technique psychotherapy for people who suffer from excessive self-control.

People who are prone to excessive self-control are characterized by the following traits:

• They are conscious and hyper-responsible, avoid risk and are cautious in everything.
• They find it difficult to relax and take life lightly.
• They are .
• They have high personal standards, which they adhere to even if they feel that they do not quite live up to them.
• These are people who are excessive, rigid, inert, following the established rules in everything.
• They pay special attention to the details, and focus on them at the expense of the big picture.
• They tend to keep their opinions to themselves and hide their feelings until they decide it's "time" to let them out. They often mask their true feelings and attitudes towards people.
• These are people who are aloof, alienated, withdrawn. You will need time to get to know them better. They keep a distance in communication with others.

Although excessive self-control can serve some adaptive functions, unfortunately, the price of this is very high, especially in relationships between people.

In particular, behaviors that are driven by excessive self-control hinder the formation of social bonds and genuine intimacy.

If you think you need to be tougher on yourself to build willpower, you're not alone. But you are wrong.
All studies show that with self-criticism, interest in the case steadily decreases and self-control worsens.
Kelly McGonigal. Strength of will

Since people who are prone to excessive control are usually responsible, restrained, they do not attract attention to themselves, and they worry in silence. Most often they suffer from problems such as chronic, anorexia, or obsessive-compulsive syndrome.

People who are prone to overcontrol usually answer “yes” to the following questions:

• Do you feel like no one is really getting what they want from you, especially those closest to you?
• Are you used to masking and suppressing both resentment and tender feelings?
• Is it difficult for people to know what kind of person you are? Do you consider yourself reserved or shy?
• Do you pride yourself on being in control of your feelings, or do you feel overwhelmed and unappreciated?
• Do you find it difficult to have fun or even just relax and unwind, breaking one of the rules you have set?
• Do you often feel lonely, even when surrounded by people, and no one even realizes how terrible you feel deep down inside?

In contrast, RO DBT assumes that people with excessive self-control do not need to work harder, think smarter, or better control their emotions. Instead, RO DBT focuses patients on their surroundings, helping them change the social signals they broadcast to others and interact more flexibly with those around them.

Overcontrol can seriously disrupt the natural exchange between give and take in a relationship.

Instead of increasing control, RO DBT develops the skills to be spontaneous in social situations, make life easier, make friends, and form a more friendly and flexible manner of interacting with other people.

Particular attention is paid to coping with "black and white" thinking and

How many can be called titans of will? Why are there so few "supermen" and "steel ladies" in everyday life? People with a strong will, regardless of natural potential, usually devote a lot of time to developing these qualities. And good level control is more important for life success than intelligence. It's twice as important. How to learn self-control? Mindless self-examination will not help.

On the benefits of metaphors

The first thing a future “terminator” needs to know is that the ability to build power interactions can be compared to a muscle. The metaphor is valid, but it has both positive and negative consequences. First, by working on yourself, you can increase the strength of the “muscle”.

Second - this muscle tends to get tired - and the person ceases to control himself. For this reason, losing weight attack the refrigerator in the evening. Not because the calories at this time are somehow more attractive or because we “have a stereotype of an evening meal”. But because the willpower ran out by the evening, the person made too many decisions - and was simply tired. The development of self-control is greatly inhibited if you have a stressful job. What to do? Transfer the most serious decisions to the morning, when a person still has a lot of “volitional resource”, and try to devote the evening only to rest. It must be remembered that he trains with a dosed, but gradually increasing load precisely after reaching fatigue. Therefore, you can go for a run, and then force yourself to do something completely unpleasant. Cleaning, a piece of uninteresting work, or maybe a call to the support service, which stubbornly does not want to help? There are many options.

The second important rule: blood sugar should be at a decent level. How to learn self-control? If there are sharp drops, the probability of "failing" the task will be too high.

It turns out that when we are hungry, self-control is greatly reduced. The decision-making part of the brain has too few "resources". She is the most perfect and vulnerable. But they “feed” her last. Because the issue of resource extraction is better solved by the ancient emotional zone. This is how starvation diets fail. This is how anorexics become bulimics. Self-control skills are under attack if the brain is hungry. What to do? Do not bring yourself to a state of weakness, but provide the brain with “slow” carbohydrates in a dosed manner.

Happens to everyone

The third rule is to learn to forgive yourself for failures. Violations of the established regime must be completely “written off”, otherwise it will be very difficult for a person to regain faith in himself. positive thinking- ambiguous idea

But in general, thinking positively is helpful, as long as you don't ignore problems. It is necessary to keep in view the complex, but to concentrate on the available resources and opportunities. That's how Donald Trump got out of bankruptcy several times. How to learn self-control? One must acquire the ability to retreat when necessary.

Why stress?

The fourth rule - the strength of the spirit is formed as a derivative physical development. Therefore, it is extremely important to bother yourself in the stadium or in gym. The amount of load that a person is able to withstand regularly is related to his volitional capabilities.

If you are unhappy, start with the body. Moreover, endurance training is better than strength training. Little time? Then learn the technique Effectively and usefully. But be prepared for the fact that after training it is very difficult to force yourself to do anything. Remember rule number one? Therefore, you will have to plan the time very carefully, so that after the load at first there are no very serious things. And this is a strong argument against the beloved by many "run in the morning." In the morning, you just need to warm up a little, nothing more. Otherwise, you will feel exhausted later. And this is the risk of not doing the job. Therefore, it is better to run after the most important thing is done.

In the name of values

The fifth rule - the strength of the spirit is stronger when you strive for the highest. This is exactly the case when a strong answer to the question "Why?" crosses out all the difficulties of answering the question "How?". Moreover, it is much easier for a person to try not for himself, but for others. Therefore, a worthy goal that will help many will motivate very much. And spur on without additional stress. The natural mechanisms of its maintenance will turn on. So it turns out to concentrate even in people with attention deficit - clearly a pathological condition.

Control and self-control are closely related. Only those who are capable of being masters of themselves can lead others. And it's not just a positive or negative example. A person with a strong will thinks more clearly and is able to adhere to already decisions taken. How to learn self-control? Dose the load, yes the right carbs, forgive yourself, train and think, in the name of what you need to bother yourself. The last tip is the most important and helps even in "hopeless" cases.

The term "self-control" in modern psychology means an adequate assessment and complete, as well as ongoing mental processes. As a rule, self-control and its norms are set by the requirements of society regarding human behavior within society.

As a psychological phenomenon, self-control includes in its “composition” all the processes by which a person has the ability to completely control his own behavior in cases of any conflicting social situations, as well as control his biological needs, cravings, which also include various impulsive impulses, irresistible attraction depending on the conditions of the external environment and environment. It also implies a special ability inherent in the individual to pacify his feelings, which is seen as an understanding of his imperfection and a desire to act exclusively as a perfect, correct person, from the point of view of this image the individual himself.

A person who is inherent in self-control is always able to act correctly and in any situation in any situation. This mechanism helps to neglect any internal barriers, for example,. Do not confuse self-control and fearlessness in this case, since fearlessness implies the absence of fear as such and, as a rule, frivolity. Self-control is the speed and freedom of the mind.

Psychologists emphasize the fact that self-control is a volitional mechanism that positively affects the development of the personality as a whole, so this quality should be inherent in any adequate person.

Self-control of behavior

Physical self-control, or, is a very important mechanism in the psychology of a person as a social being. This is most pronounced in extreme situations for the individual. In particular, statistical studies show that a person who has a sufficiently pronounced self-control is much more likely to get out of the prevailing force majeure with dignity than a person who does not control himself.

In principle, the total absence of this property in the psyche of any person can be equated to clouding the mind of one degree or another. Since the individual is not able to soberly evaluate and control his basic psychological processes and actions, he is too often prone to varying degrees of irrational actions.

In fact, physical self-control manifests itself in our lives, in almost all its areas. This quality, at the household level, allows you to avoid quarrels and find any compromise in the family or team. Athletes very often need to follow a strict diet and training regimen, which also requires a certain level of self-control. So the ability to control oneself is manifested in the fact that the individual is able to regulate his life, needs and desires in such a way as to live at the level of finances and opportunities that he has on this moment.

Development of self-control

It should be emphasized that the development of self-control, first of all, is based on the development and observance of a certain schedule for the individual. If a person is able to adhere to a strict schedule, he develops and improves the mechanism of self-control.
The first inclinations of this property appear already at the stage of family education. Children imitate adults in almost everything, including behavior. Demonstrating an example of restraint in conversation, avoiding quarrels and finding compromises, parents always lay the foundations of self-control in their child.
So is it possible to achieve self-control, if even in childhood, parents missed this moment in education? It all depends on the desire of the individual. You can cultivate self-control in yourself if you try to comply with your obligations, follow a given schedule, devote as much time as possible to self-improvement.

Self-control during exercise

Professional athletes, as well as people who are seriously involved in this or that type of training, are well aware of the need for regular monitoring of their health during and after exercise. It should be noted that self-control exercise never replaces a full medical examination, but is a very useful and even necessary addition to it. With the help of this self-control, an athlete can evaluate the effectiveness of certain physical training, their tolerance of volumes of physical activity. This allows you to correctly coordinate his further actions and calculate the most appropriate training schedule and load regimen.
Usually, this self-control is understood as a series of simple and accessible to everyone observations, the totality of which will make it possible to draw a general conclusion about the state of the organism. From subjective observations, these are sleep, mood, appetite, general well-being, the presence or absence of physical fatigue, the desire to train. Of the more objective assessments, it is worth noting body weight, heart rate, pulse and its filling, respiratory rate.

Diary of self-control

Most athletes, or even people who are far from sports, are often recommended to start their own personal “self-control diary”. It is necessary to note all the data of their self-control in it in order to analyze it themselves or together with their doctor, psychologist, coach.

In the case of athletes, such a diary usually consists of two separate parts. One of them notes subjective indicators, available objective indicators, and also describes general state for the current day. In the other part, in the entry for the same calendar day, all the workouts performed by the athlete, their number, time, duration, total and private load are noted. In the future, this can help the coach or even the doctor to note any necessary corrections in terms of the load schedule of this individual.

In addition, such a "notebook" performs a number of useful functions. Namely:

Such a diary as a whole helps each person to feel better about himself, his physical and emotional state.
Develops the habit of regularly monitoring your health. The development of the need to make systematic daily records in itself stimulates the development of self-control mechanisms.
It makes it possible to assess the degree of fatigue and its dependence on quantity and quality. physical activity. The same goes for mental stress. Such control allows you to correctly adjust the work during the day and avoid overwork.
Accordingly, the diary is of great help in terms of assessing the necessary amount of rest that is needed for the full restoration of physical and mental strength.
Recordings also make it possible to understand which methods are most effective in case of need for recovery.

Control and self-control

Control, in its general sense, implies tracking and directing a process in the right direction. For example, control over learning and the student in its process implies the presence of an external feedback, that is, control by the teacher. An equally important part that it includes is also self-control, that is, control over learning and activities performed by the student himself. It is important to emphasize here that control and self-control are inextricably linked, since they have a double link in terms of influence on each other. By developing control over learning, the student as a whole forms a more pronounced mechanism of self-control, and vice versa - developed self-control contributes to precise concentration on learning and control over its implementation.

It is worth noting that initially in pedagogy, for a long time, a fairly simple but proven method of monitoring learning, which is based on assessment, was used. It is still used in one form or another, but nowadays it has some drawbacks. For example, the main weak point of this method is the physical impossibility of assessing the knowledge of all students by one teacher. As a result of this, either a too superficial assessment of the effectiveness of learning occurs, which in itself negatively affects its effectiveness. further development, or the case when the teacher uses the assessment of knowledge as a kind of threat to students in order to spur them to work. This state of affairs radically changes the very essence of education and pedagogy, relegates the educational and cognitive processes in the psyche of students to the last plan.

Unfortunately, external control is an integral part of learning, in fact, just like the assessment of a student's knowledge by a teacher. In fact, these are the only methods of control in the process of obtaining knowledge. In this regard, students do not develop habits of self-control, therefore, the mechanism of self-control within schools and universities, as a rule, is practically not developed.

In this regard, it is very important to develop a more correct approach to pedagogy at the present time. In fact, the learning process itself should consist of the following conditional steps:

Focused on motivation for the learning process.
Oriented to the commission and execution of the required operations, actions.
Focused on an adequate assessment of the actions performed by the student himself.

All these stages, as if they were parts of the process, follow each other and must not only be fully implemented, but also adequately understood by the students themselves.

Self-control and self-esteem

In terms of personal psychiatry, the process of self-control acts as the ability of an individual not only to assess his condition, mental activity, intentions and cravings, but also the ability to control them to the fullest. In addition, these processes make it possible to timely evaluate the proposed actions and make the right decision in their subsequent activities in a given situation.
Self-assessment, as a process of assessing one's personal capabilities, actions, decisions made. Potential and even talents are not laid in the child initially. It is formed as he grows up, begins to understand the world and people. Needless to say, the further development of a child's self-esteem directly depends on the adequacy of educational processes in the family, the approach of teachers and personal experience in general.

Such mechanisms as self-control are very strongly interconnected. In particular, the formation of well-defined self-control contributes to the ability to make a correct self-assessment. This should be taken into account, especially when it comes to the first days of the baby's stay at school and his lessons.

Of course, children of this age, who are just starting to study in the first grades, are practically unable to find errors in their own work, which is also important. That is why a technique is often used that allows kids to perform self-examination using special samples of correctly completed tasks. A method of mutual verification is also often shown. This is enough universal way, which, with a competent approach, will allow the child to develop not only self-control, but also accuracy, the ability to concentrate, a sense of responsibility, honesty, and teamwork.

It should be noted that in the course of diagnostic psychological conversations with children, experts were able to come to the conclusion that the technique of mutual verification has a very positive effect on the educational process as a whole. When the baby starts checking the work of his “neighbor”, his interest in work, motivation for learning and cognitive processes are greatly activated. Unfortunately, it is not always possible to apply this method. Most often, they resort to it in the lessons of mathematics, geometry, the Russian language, and spelling in general.