How to make the right decision for yourself - divorce or save the relationship? How to make the right decision to divorce your husband When a man decides to divorce.

Anna Olegovna

Hello. Help make the right decision. It seemed to me that I decided that I would get a divorce. Until you get to the point of applying. Overcame doubts and still has not filed. We have been living separately for a year now, we do not maintain contact, he also does not communicate with the child, at all. He has a different life, different relationships, but he does not file for divorce.

And I don't want to live like this anymore. Help me understand, thanks.

Anna Olegovna

There were a million questions. But won’t I regret it later, won’t I scold myself that I’m depriving a child of a family. And suddenly he will stop giving money to the child.

There were a million questions. But won’t I regret it later, won’t I scold myself that I’m depriving a child of a family. And suddenly he will stop giving money to the child.

Anna Olegovna

Thanks for the sharp response. No, I do not interfere with communication with the child, he himself does not want to communicate with him. He doesn't even call or ask how he's doing. I wanted to sue. To oblige him to communicate with the child, but the court does not make such a decision.

Anna Olegovna

Can you explain to me why, because of myself, I will regret the divorce?

Everyone has doubts about making such a decision in life. Or there are people who decide clearly and no longer regret it.

Can you explain to me why, because of myself, I will regret the divorce?

That is why the husband does not file for divorce - even if the marriage was a mistake, he does not want to rush and aggravate the situation with another mistake. He watches football

And you do not want to get a divorce - you do not want to continue to live like you wrote in the first post.
And you mistakenly think that divorce will be the decision that will change your life. And this is not so. The key to changing your life is completely different.

Anna Olegovna

The key is to start over? To draw conclusions and live on as I want. But it is also difficult, very difficult. I tried to talk to him, I asked him to start all over again, I asked him to return home many times, he did not want to. I offered to move with my son to him. He clearly explained that he did not need me, and he would not live with me. After that, I almost "caught him by the leg" with his mistresses. It's already hard to forgive. We have a special baby, severe cerebral palsy, all my time is spent on my son, and he never really participated. He was not at home all the time. I think maybe he's just a coward, and ran away from problems and now lives for his own pleasure. And I still only take care of my son. He did not call for several months and did not see either the child or me. Friends say he has a different relationship.

Empty marriages and sick relationships lead nowhere. And it's not even about when there are constant conflicts in the family. I'm talking about a marriage in which everything seems to be fine, but for some reason there is no love and happiness.

Looking back, I came up with six signs that tell me it's time for a divorce.

My history

My first marriage was a mistake. We were a dancing couple, falling in love, unplanned pregnancy, registry office. The usual story. We were connected only by dancing, and after the birth of a child, we had to forget about them altogether. But I believed that our boat of love should stay afloat no matter what.

The marriage lasted five years, during which I periodically thought about divorce. Sometimes out loud. But determination was not enough. Largely because outwardly everything was normal: we almost did not quarrel, did not live in poverty, the way of life stabilized over the years, the child grew up. But there was nothing in common either.

I'm lucky. I met the man of my dreams and over time I realized that if I want to be with someone, then only with him. But if it does not work out, then I can no longer live in an empty relationship. Even if we hadn't met, I would still come to the same decision, but later. There were bells.

We stopped talking to each other

At first we talked a lot: where did you study, what do you do, how do you look at the world, who are your parents and friends, what music do you listen to, what books do you read, what films do you prefer to watch. At the dating stage, there is always something to talk about.

But over time, the topics have exhausted themselves. It became clear to both that there was nothing to discuss. Just like in the movie What Men Talk About, when Camille reads a text message from his wife: “Toilet paper. Bread. Milk".

Sometimes it was about views on life values. And here another problem arose. My husband is five years younger than me, and I turned out to be too experienced a partner for him in almost all areas of life. As a result, the dialogue did not work - it was more like consultations. My husband was a smart and grateful listener, but I was getting more and more bored.

Conclusion

Communication is the main component of any relationship.

Most of the time you communicate. And it should be fun for both of you.

If your partner looks into your mouth, and you are engaged in upbringing in life, over time you may get bored with this. If you are always in the position of an obedient student, someday you will want to be independent.

Communication should be mutually enriching. You should have a similar cultural background that you can build on together. When one constantly pulls the other along, or when people go their separate ways, vital chatter gradually disappears.

We tried to stay out of the house as much as possible.

We spent most of the time apart, but somehow we did not strive to be together. It was normal for the husband to come after 9-10 pm. I fell asleep peacefully when I put the baby to bed. We could hardly see each other until the weekend.

Saturday and Sunday were also spent in their own way. I walked with my son, tried to meet with friends. The husband spent time at the laptop: study, work, movies, games.

I used to tug at him and ask him to spend time with me. He reluctantly agreed. Then I left him alone. I felt more comfortable that way.

The book will be useful to weak partners who feel dependent on their soul mate and believe that relationships are based only on them. You will understand why your partner is drawn to you less and less and learn how to become stronger, restore harmony and self-sufficiency.

The book will help the leading people in a couple to figure out what happened in the relationship and where the former love and passion have gone. You will better understand your partner's motives and learn how to help him become more independent and calm and stop holding you around.

A book about different forms of manifestation. Some feel love in the time they spend together, and some feel it through physical care and help. Someone small, but frequent gifts lead to ecstasy. In total, the author identifies five types: joint time, help, encouragement, touch and gifts.

Look among them for yourself and your soul mate. You may want to learn how to love your partner in the way that makes them feel the most comfortable. The book will be useful to anyone who needs a good relationship not only with a loved one, but also with other people.

The meaning of the book is as follows: people tend to play social games. There are simple stroking games that are known to everyone and accepted in society. For example, I came back from vacation, and you ask how I spent it.

There are more complex and dangerous games - scenarios. A person unconsciously searches for his script and plays it out. They are instilled in us from childhood and are good (becoming a doctor and saving lives) and bad (saving the lives of others, not remembering yourself, burning out at work and dying at 35).

My scenario - if you become pregnant, you definitely need to marry the father of the child, you can’t get divorced - you need to educate a partner. I did not see other options for the development of events and went straight ahead to this marriage, as if fulfilling a program. Only five years later I ask myself: do I really want to? Do I need it?

Go see a psychologist

Another way to harmonize relationships and life in general is to go to a psychologist. But it is better not together, but separately.

Psychologists do not tell how to live, and do not give valuable advice about the toilet lid. They ask questions, help to consider the situation from different angles, put yourself in the place of another person and realize that something is not right. You find the way out yourself.

Psychologists help to effectively cope with anxiety, fears and anger through various therapeutic practices, such as art therapy or sand therapy.

As a result, you will no longer be offended by the unpleasant behavior of your spouse, you will learn to be happy and stable.

After that, you will have two options:

• your harmony will positively affect your partner, relationships will improve;
• you will realize that you no longer need this relationship, and will soon disperse.

When the only way out is divorce

My first marriage was for me something like chickenpox, after which the body becomes permanently immune. Was this marriage unsuccessful? Yes, there was. Do I need such a relationship? Yes, they are needed.

We always attract only the right people. We learn alongside them. And if we learn a lesson, we become better. I needed a man with whom I would be a superwoman to be proud of the severity of my life.

Then I grew out of these ideas, but the relationship itself did not change and ceased to suit me. And there was only one way out.

Divorce is not a sentence, but work on mistakes

We were not and could not be happy together. Nobody is to blame for this. My ex-husband- a wonderful person, decent, smart, attractive, he dances wonderfully. I treat him well and wish him happiness from the bottom of my heart. I absolutely did not want to hurt him, although I understood that a divorce would be a tragedy for him. However, I did not shine next to him and eventually stopped trying.

For me there was only one option - to disperse. Of course, it is a pity invested in the relationship of effort and time. I was worried about my ex-husband, I was worried about how the divorce would affect.

I was not ready to sacrifice myself out of politeness and regrets about the past, because this will not make anyone happy.

If you are walking somewhere for a long time and suddenly realize that you have been going in the wrong direction all this time, you have two options: turn back or deliberately continue walking in the wrong direction.

Divorce is not a disaster, you don't die from it. Divorce is work on mistakes. I admitted my mistake, forgave myself for it, and happily move on with my life.

Tatyana Sharanda
practical psychologist
family and marriage consultant
head of the psychological development center

The realization that you are being abandoned is hard for both women and men.

- It is very difficult to say that divorce is more difficult for someone, men or women. Firstly, it all depends on the situation, and secondly, on the personal qualities of each person.

Of course, if we talk about general statistics, women are more sensitive by nature, but still the main factor is who left whom. There is almost always someone who has been abandoned. It's usually harder for him. The person who leaves is stronger a priori. The psychological pressure on the abandoned person can be extremely strong. Sometimes men can't cope with such situations. And often they are looking for salvation in alcohol, gambling, and so on.

But it also happens that the decision is made mutually. The ending is not always tragic.

- Of course. There are such couples, and I treat them with deep respect. Unfortunately, not everyone can agree. A good relationship between former spouses are rare. But people came to me who, despite the divorce, are still friends. And at the reception they were about problems with a common child.

For example, one baby showed psychological difficulties, and both parents were interested in holding him, helping him understand himself. This is a great example for others.

Get divorced, get married, get divorced again, get married again

- They say that if one of the spouses, in principle, had the idea of ​​divorce, then there is no turning back. Sooner or later there will be a break.

- And here it is impossible to speak unambiguously. The situations are different. It depends on what roles each person performs within the family, which inner self dominates.

There are couples where both he and she are teenagers inside themselves, regardless of their real age. In this case, everything is unpredictable, because for them, relationships are more like a game. In words, spouses get divorced almost every day. Gradually, even those around them get used to their scandals. There are times when people really get divorced. Then they marry again. Then they get divorced again and ... get married (laughs). This is their personal way of growing up. Often in such marriages, the child takes on the role of an adult. Paradoxically, but true! He is the most responsible and wise in the house. He had to become like this in order to at least survive.

A marriage where one of the partners plays the role of a parent can last quite a long time, as a mature person understands a lot, is not afraid to take responsibility and knows how to give in.

There are unions where the husband and wife are both independent individuals, both adults. In this case, the reason for divorce is usually very serious, for example, the mismatch of the sexual constitution. When one of the partners is hyperactive, and the second is much less interested in the intimate side of life. Or someone has not just a fleeting connection on the side, but a strong affection, which gradually develops into true love, and being together is simply unbearable.

Society no longer condemns the wife who left the family

- Based on your experience, who is more likely to initiate a divorce?

- You will probably be surprised: today it is more and more often women! They can provide for themselves financially, their parents help them, they have ambitions, personal goals, society no longer blames the wife who left the family, this has ceased to be a shame. Sometimes it is almost impossible to reach the modern Amazon. If she decides something for herself, it is difficult to stop her.

- Inner freedom is good. But is the decision to burn bridges always the right one?

- I'm probably a very conservative psychologist. Today independence and strength are promoted. However, it seems to me that you need to try to save the family to the last. Don't jump to conclusions. After all, you can regret it very much later, and it’s not always possible to return everything back.

A lot of people come to me, and with full confidence I can say that children suffer the most from the separation of their parents. These are psychological problems that accompany later in adulthood, and various diseases caused by severe nervous stress. And in adolescence and suicidal thoughts may arise. And these are not unfounded statements, but real situations that I, as a specialist, had to deal with. The psyche of children is quite flexible, but boys and girls aged 13-17 are extremely sensitive.

For 47 years, a man carried in himself a tormenting feeling of abandonment

Is it worth keeping a marriage solely for the sake of children?

- If this is not possible, I always ask parents to at least try to maintain warm relations with each other. For children, this is important. Do not swear, do not find out in front of them who is right and who is wrong, try to come to some kind of compromise, because, as I said, the divorce situation hurts boys and girls a lot. If you do not pay attention to this in time, the pain will torment a person all his life.

Just recently I was talking to a woman who is already 47 years old. Her dad left the family when she was little. That's how the situation happened. She did not see her father. Decided on it just now. I found out the address and visited my parent, who had long ago moved to Moscow. The meeting was very warm. The father was glad of the arrival of his daughter, he showed her the capital, told about his fate. The woman admitted that only now she realized: all her life she felt inferior. And only now it became easier for her. For almost 47 years, a person carried within himself a tormenting feeling of abandonment.

- Have there been cases in your practice when people regretted that they got divorced?

- I ask about this, and usually people who are well over 35 give a positive answer to this question.

- What is the main reason?

- The connection on the side that the partner could not forgive, even if it was actually something not serious at all.

I know only three good reasons for divorce

- How to understand that a divorce is really necessary, because there are such situations?

For you to understand better, I will tell you a little story. Even under the Soviet Union, in one very serious magazine, I read a letter from a woman. It was a kind of message to all people. She wrote about her life. The narrator had a wonderful family: a good husband and two children, peace and harmony. But the woman began to notice that her husband began to move away - he devoted all his free time only to babies. At some point, the wife began to ask questions. The husband honestly answered that she was very dear to him and he respected her immensely, but ... only as the mother of their children, it turned out that he fell in love with another.

The woman was crying, offended, cursing. He endured and did not make excuses. The man was very attached to the children, he could not leave his family. Yes, the wife internally did not let him go. Slowly and painfully, but she still came to the realization that a person dear to her was simply dying before her eyes. A conversation took place, and they parted.

Without waiting for the morning, taking some things, he rushed to his dream. However, he was in such a hurry that he lost control and crashed. In an instant, hope and support for everyone disappeared. In the letter, she asked not to repeat her mistake, but to understand and accept the feelings of another and, no matter how painful it was, to let go.

For what this story? Love is the greatest reason. If you feel that they are not lying to you, that a serious feeling makes a person leave, then you need to put up with it.

The second reason is any human addiction whether it be alcohol, drugs, gambling. If a person himself is not ready to fight with himself, it is impossible to pull him out of the swamp, no matter how hard the spouse or spouse tries, they will have to drown together. Here I have a rather tough position, because this is true. Too many broken destinies. former people dependencies do not exist.

The third reason is violence. I think everyone understands this. You should not wait until the aggressor eventually cripple you physically or mentally. Pack your things, look for help, support and leave. There are always options.

I think there are three main factors. In all other cases, I advise you not to rush into a decision.

Take off your rose-colored glasses!

- Maybe you should ask yourself some questions in order to better understand what is happening in the soul?

- Without coming to a psychologist, you can go through projective methods of unfinished sentences on the topic " Family relationships". They just need to complete the sentence. It is advisable to do this together, and then exchange the results obtained, they will surprise both. Only I recommend referring to serious psychological sites.

When we get married, we often confuse expectations with reality, endowing our partner with non-existent qualities, perceiving his behavior from a position that is convenient for us at a given moment in time. And as experience shows, taking off the “rose-colored glasses” and seeing a person from a different angle is very painful.

If the partners just decide to talk to each other - this is already a serious step forward! I take my hat off to these people. Unfortunately, more and more often couples come to me where he or she demands in an almost commanding tone: “Explain to my husband (wife) what he (she) should (should) do!” Such statements have long ceased to amaze me. Unfortunately, we hear only ourselves and our pain, without thinking about what is going on in the soul of another person. I always want to say to such people: “It's time to take off the rose-colored glasses!” Although this should have been done before marriage. If you are not ready to accept another person, then it is better not to enter into a relationship. And if they change, then only together.

Another little sketch. I often watch people. What can you do, it's work. So I remember one scene well (although it is repeated more than once in other interpretations). In the underground. The train arrived. A young couple at the station says goodbye. He kissed her, she went ahead. At the very door of the transport, the girl turned to look at the guy. But the young man had already taken out his phone and buried his nose in it. Not a very pleasant situation. The girl never got the message she hoped for.

It would seem nonsense! But it is in the little things that the truth is traced. I can predict further relations people on this one story. And my verdict will be disappointing. The relationship is at the initial stage, but already here it is worth asking yourself whether this is the right person and whether we really need each other.

Freedom is too tempting

- Today it is fashionable to say “we took a break” when the couple decided to leave for a while, to live separately. Is this method helpful?

- I guess, yes. However, there is one thing. Freedom can be too seductive. First of all for men.

Why do problems start in marriage? There are no obligations in the candy-bouquet period. Today we met, went to the cinema, tomorrow we decided to relax. There are more positive emotions, and it is too early to make any claims. And then you have to be with a person constantly, overcome obstacles together, get used to each other. And for some this is extremely difficult. So here. If you again felt the taste of freedom, there is an alluring desire to fly away forever. When the wave of joy from independence subsides, it may turn out that this freedom was not really needed.

Can you give advice on how to save a marriage?

Tell each other about your shortcomings. When I say this to my clients, their eyes widen. And yet, yes, let the man honestly say that from time to time he scatters socks all over the apartment, that he doesn’t know how to hang frames on the walls, and so on, and the woman admits that she can only cook scrambled eggs, and sometimes she gets upset over trifles.

Removing the mask of ideality, we begin to move towards each other. Before marriage, both men and women often idealize a partner and expect a certain relationship in advance, and then it turns out that everything is not as beautiful as it was in dreams.

In any situation, try to have a dialogue, not a verbal duel, put yourself in the place of a partner, think, then do it. This does not always save the marriage, but, believe me, it will save your nerves and respect for each other.

Divorce is a word that is associated with suffering, quarrels and exclusively negative emotions. Some of the women are so afraid of him that they endure literally any antics of their spouse, or save the marriage, convincing themselves that they have such a fate.

However, such a fear in many cases is not justified - unhealthy relationships do not make any of the partners happy. Every person has the right to respect, affection and care, and if the relationship has exhausted itself, and the hope for a normal life together with a spouse is lost, smart decision there will be a divorce.

How do you know when it's time to divorce your spouse?

Many have heard the phrase that "love lives for 3 years." In fact, we are talking about crises in the life of a couple - the first, as a rule, occurs after 3 years of living together, the next - after 7 years. Many families can cope with such a difficult period in life. Quarrels and the feeling that feelings have faded are not always a reason to break off relations.

However, do not confuse the dissatisfaction with the husband associated with the crisis with a real threat to marriage. There are a number of reasons why divorce is really justified:

Emotional stages of breaking up family relationships

Breaking a marriage bond is almost always hard on both sides. No wonder they say that "divorce is a small death." Psychologists identify several emotional stages of breaking up a long-term relationship or marriage:

As practice shows, most often women are the initiators of breaking marriage ties. Men prefer to play for time or wait for their partner to make the first move.

Before deciding to take such a responsible step, a woman should weigh all the pros and cons, discarding all emotions. The main advice of experts is not to forget about rationalism and common sense.

To make it easier to understand yourself, you can use one of the psychological techniques, which is designed to unravel the most difficult problems when the heart contradicts the mind. The technique of "Cartesian questions" is presented in the table.

If the feelings of the spouses are still not cooled down, divorce will be torment for both. In this case, it is better to try to reconcile, overcoming misunderstanding and resentment. However, if habit or pity becomes an obstacle to a breakup, the situation in the family can only get worse. In addition, being afraid to decide on a divorce, spouses deprive themselves of the chance to be happy apart.

Why can't you hold on to your marriage for fear of harming your child?

A child is one of the main reasons why women do not dare to divorce. However, such a sacrifice of the mother is not always justified in relation to the children themselves.

If there are difficulties in a couple's relationship, it is worth making sure that quarrels and tension do not bring damage to small family members. Parents may not show their hostility in front of the baby, but he still feels and understands everything.

The situation in the family will be deposited in the child's subconscious and will subsequently affect his life (in particular, his relationship with his future wife or spouse). Every kid wants mom and dad to be around, but the main thing is that they be happy.

One of the fears of a woman thinking about a divorce is doubts about whether she herself will be able to raise her daughter, son or several children to her feet. In fact, everything is not as scary as it seems, and many mothers deal with it. If a husband loves kids, he will definitely be able to agree on their joint upbringing.

Unfortunately, there are also such fathers who do not want to take responsibility and somehow help their spouse - in this case, you should not think about divorce. There is no need to doubt when the husband has an alcohol or drug addiction, a passion for slot machines, or he raises his hand against one of the family members.

In the end, you need to stop deceiving yourself and wait for your spouse or circumstances to change. On the contrary, the maternal instinct is to shield babies from an unhealthy family environment and give them and themselves a chance to be happy.

How to explain your decision to children?

The decision to divorce is not easy, but the explanation with the child is even harder. Before you start a conversation, you should prepare yourself for different options development of events. If the relationship with the spouse did not work out, but at the same time he is a wonderful dad, it will not be easy for the baby to accept the situation. In the case when the reason for the divorce is alcoholism or the tyranny of the father, the children may even rejoice.

It is important that two parents talk to the child, explaining that they will continue to love him, and they will see their dad regularly and spend time together. Do not lie to the baby and promise that nothing will change. Another important aspect is to explain to the child that he is not the reason for the separation of mom and dad. Such thoughts often haunt children after their parents divorce.

It is best if the decision is presented to the child as mutual. At the same time, you can’t look for the guilty and talk to each other in raised tones. By entangling a child in disagreements and exerting pressure on each other with his help, parents inflict irreparable trauma on him.

What to do when there is no more hope for a happy future together? How to decide to leave and tell your husband about the divorce? Breaking family ties is always painful. But sometimes it's the only way to save yourself and start a new life.

No psychologist can give a definitive answer. If life in marriage does not bring joy and pleasure, health has deteriorated, then it's time to think and talk honestly with yourself.

Why is the decision to break up so difficult? Common cause- fears. A woman is afraid of the unknown, loneliness, condemnation, loss of a loved one, loss of financial well-being.

A significant reason to delay a divorce is the presence of children in the family. Many women patiently try to save their families for a long time. But there are situations when divorce is the only right decision.

1. Alcoholism, drug addiction or gambling addiction are diseases that are amenable to very complex and lengthy treatment. Ask yourself: “Are you ready to endure and suffer for so long?”. It is not worth living in hell out of a sense of mercy. After all, there is only one life, there will be no other.
2. Physical or psychological abuse. Today, psychologists are unanimous. If the husband is a tyrant, a psychopath, a manipulator, a narcissist, separation is inevitable. These are pathologies. These people don't change.
3. Indifference. The partner’s opinion is no longer interesting and I don’t want to prove something to him, but there was a desire to inform my husband about the divorce.
4. Loneliness in the family. Missing emotional connection between spouses.
5. Life priorities and values ​​have changed.
6. The unwillingness of a man to take responsibility for the family.
7. Treason.

When family life turns into a routine, it's time to decide whether to continue to suffer or change something.

How to tell your husband about a divorce correctly?

When it's time to tell your husband about the divorce, you need to draw up an action plan. This will give confidence and strength for the upcoming difficult conversation. Try:

Information! Don't talk about divorce in front of the kids. This can be very traumatic for both the baby and the teenager.

How to behave and start a conversation about divorce so that the husband agrees?

1. Before you tell your husband about the divorce, thank you for all the good things that you experienced together.
2. Don't blame him for what happened. Parting share and your responsibility.
3. Do not humiliate his dignity by talking about an opponent.

Do you need a divorce with children?

For a child, the breakup of a family is a tragedy. Negative memories are forever stored in memory. Children are afraid of changing their usual way of life. Try calmly but decisively.

When Divorce Is Relief

Constant quarrels and scandals often lead to stress in children. And experiences often turn into illnesses. In adolescents, family conflicts cause depression. Physical violence (beatings, fights, beatings) causes severe psychological trauma. And then parting is a real salvation.

Information! It is hard for a child to come to terms with the idea that mom and dad will now live separately. Therefore, it is better to talk with your husband about divorce in the absence of children.

Often children copy the life script of their parents and transfer it to their adult life. Resentment against dad or mom, complexes and fears are problems that they will have to deal with for more than one year.

According to the degree of experience, divorce is in second place after the death of a loved one. To survive this stress, you need to make every effort. After parting with a husband, women face a number of problems:

• unbearable feeling of loneliness;
• self-blame;
• guilt;
• financial questions;
• condemnation from relatives and friends;
• a radical change in lifestyle.

Here are some tips to help you deal with the situation:

1. Accept divorce as a fact. At first, the woman refuses to believe what is happening. Then she is overwhelmed with anger, anger and resentment. They are replaced by a feeling of guilt and a desire to return her husband at any cost. And only then comes awareness and understanding. This is a difficult period. Often there is apathy and depression. And after all the suffering, the woman comes to terms with the situation and accepts it. A new life begins.
2. Learn to manage emotions. The main thing at such a moment is to be in a resource state. After all, you need to move on, take care of children, become happy and successful.
3. Take care of beauty and health. It's time to take care of yourself. Make a new hairstyle, visit a beautician, take a course of massage. Walk more, play sports or dance. Balance nutrition, improve sleep. Get rid of bad habits.
4. Recharge with positivity. Make a list of what brings you joy and pleasure. And start taking action!
5. Take care of the children. They especially need your attention and love right now. Create an atmosphere of emotional security for them.

Information! It is desirable that after a divorce, the child has as few changes as possible. The same apartment, school, friends, the same daily routine.

1. Hide away family photos and things that remind you of the past.
2. When meeting with friends, do not talk to them about the ex-spouse.
3. Don't call him or send messages.
4. Give yourself time to rest and recharge.

Is it worth returning it if you really want to?

At a certain stage after parting, many women have an irresistible desire to return their husband after a divorce. Why is this happening? And what to do with it? It is necessary to remember the reason for the breakup. Analyze the situation, draw conclusions, admit your mistakes. Complete the lessons of the past family life. Otherwise, there is a high probability that the scenario will repeat itself.

Women tend to experience illusions. It is naive to believe that a man will come to his senses and begin to change. To be happy is your desire, which means you will have to change yourself. When doubts and feelings of guilt overcome, you need to be extremely honest with yourself. Do you now agree to smaller requirements for a partner? Fears and complexes are bad advisers. It is quite possible that after a while, rethinking his actions, the ex-husband himself will want to return to the lost family.

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A properly conducted divorce process is much better than scandals and ongoing quarrels. Husband wants a divorce or you - it doesn't matter. Attempts to save a marriage in which a woman is unhappy, children suffer, will not lead to success and will not make a happy family.