General Confession on Forgiveness Sunday. Forgiveness Sunday

The last Sunday before Lent is Forgiveness. But there are few topics that raise as many questions as the topic of forgiveness as a topic of relationships between people. I want peace, but sometimes it’s even the other way around: embarrassment, reluctance, bewilderment.

Responsible Priest Peter Kolomeytsev, Dean of the Faculty of Psychology at MPI St. John the Theologian, cleric of the Church of Cosmas and Damian in Shubin.

Asking for forgiveness means taking risks

Priest Peter Kolomeytsev. Photo: facebook.com/o.petr.kolomeitsev

Here is a family where there are both believers and non-believers. And believers ask for forgiveness from non-believers on Forgiveness Day, and non-believers do not ask for anything in return, but on the contrary, they get used to the fact that they forgive all the time. And they consider it by default: since they ask for forgiveness, it means that they are guilty of something. But does not my forgiveness give people a reason to remain in error in this case?

I imagine how hard it can sound sometimes when a person on Forgiveness Sunday says: "Forgive me for Christ's sake" and so on. And in response he receives: “Yes. That's for sure. Forgiving you is hard. Well, okay. So be it, I’ll forgive you, because all of you churchmen are like that. And in response, we do not ask for forgiveness.

But after all, we do not ask for forgiveness in order to immediately ask us!

We do not ask for forgiveness in order to later say: "Come on, forgive me." Or: "Come on, ask my forgiveness."

The main thing on this day is to ask for forgiveness yourself. Therefore, here it is quite possible to be prepared for such a one-sided reaction.

Of course, it turns out that we are acting very unpedagogically. But the fact is that forgiveness is not asked for pedagogical considerations.

The fear of this non-pedagogical nature is our worldly, worldly fear: “But won’t you be left in the cold?

What if you ask and you don't? What will happen then? Maybe you shouldn't rush? Or maybe he deserved what was done to him? And so on.

This, roughly speaking, is like asking the question: should we wash our hands if a person sits next to us with no washed hands? He will sit down with unwashed hands, and we will be like fools with washed hands or washed necks. That is, this fear of non-pedagogism, it is akin to the fear of being a fool with a washed neck.

Asking for forgiveness, we purify our soul. We want there to be no resentment in it, because we know that this resentment in the soul is destructive, it is harmful to the soul. We ask for forgiveness because we know that the Lord said: we must repent and we must forgive.

And it seems to me that in such a situation, everyone decides for himself whether to wash his hands or not, to ask him for forgiveness or not.

There is no need to hold grudges against those who have not asked us for forgiveness. Scripture says, "Let not the sun go down on your anger." That is, before sunset, you yourself need to try to put an end to resentment. Do not go to sleep, holding grievances, simply because you may not wake up and go away with these grievances into eternity.

And if you offended a loved one, a weak one?

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If you offended a person close to you, dear to you, then it is much harder to forgive. It's easier to forgive when someone offends you personally. When another, then we often stand up here to protect: the weak, the child or the parents.

Yes, here we are ready to lay down our souls for our friends. And the prophets denounced people not for themselves, but for God, for truth and justice. Throw stones at the prophet, at least with mud, - he is a prophet. Unfortunately, stones were often thrown at them. But the prophet intercedes for the offended, for the offended. He denounces the decline of morals, he denounces the falling away from God.

By standing up for others, we show justice. It is only important that we really understand the measure, that we do not act biased: “they offended me” and it doesn’t matter for what and about what, but understand that this aggressive person is really wrong.

Yes, we cannot forgive the abuser for what he did to our child or our parents. Saints have been able to do it. Let us remember Elizaveta Fedorovna, the great martyr, who asked for pardon for her husband's murderer, for the death sentence to be overturned. In this case, she really wanted a person to realize, repent, so that God's power would be over him.

Therefore, in such matters, we can turn to the saints who were able to forgive, to the holy Grand Duchess Elizabeth for prayerful help, so that we, too, could take care of human soul put the offender above any earthly offense.

You can't profane God's commandment to forgive

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Suppose a person had a dispute with another and, having considered everything again, the person does not find his guilt, wrong. But the Forgiveness Sunday comes, and the question arises: in this case, asking the one with whom the dispute occurred may be a conflict, but where do you not feel in the most sincere way your guilt - forgiveness? After all, if you ask, he will decide that he was right, and you admit your guilt like that. Again, it turns out that by your forgiveness you are misleading a person. And the situation itself is distorted: after all, there is the truth of the situation, you can’t sacrifice it.

In this case, if you still decide to ask for forgiveness, you need to explain why.

For example, you can say: “Forgive me for irritation, vehemence, harshness in our dispute (if there was such a thing), but I do not consider my actions wrong.

That is, you can ask for forgiveness not for erroneous views or actions, but maybe for an unwise decision to argue about this with someone who cannot accommodate it, or for a not very tactful form of dispute.

It happens like this: we haven’t seen each other for a year or more, we haven’t communicated. On Forgiveness, he calls and says: "Forgive me, please." I ask him: "For what?" "Never. It just needs to be." This is also a strange moment, because, it turns out, he took part in the “ritual”.

If I haven’t seen a person for a whole year, and he, for example, was looking for a meeting with me, I can also apologize for not seeing each other. The man wanted, was looking for this meeting, but I never found time for him. Here conscience will tell.

But if we are dealing with a person who does not believe or has little faith, we should strive not to support formal actions that are not filled with meaning if he initiates them on his own. One cannot profane the deepest divine commandments. It is possible, depending on the situation, to somehow transfer the conversation to an informal side: to ask for forgiveness ourselves - if you suddenly offended us with something, after all, we ourselves do not see and remember. Try to make it clear to the person that, at least for you, this is a very informal moment, on the contrary, it is very important, and here's why.

What does it mean to be at peace with yourself?

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Metropolitan Anthony Surozhsky said that if a person is not at peace with himself, it is difficult for him to be at peace with those around him, and with God. And it is necessary to reconcile in three directions: with oneself, with people, with God. But not everyone understands: how is it to come to terms with oneself?

Reconciliation with oneself is a very important part of our penance.

Reconciliation with oneself is reconciliation with one's conscience, which convicts us.

And this ultimately means reconciliation with God.

There is the word "sophronia" - according to thought or chastity, as we still translate it. It is the opposite of a split consciousness - schizophronia. In fact, this is reconciliation with oneself - sophronia. This is when our thoughts and feelings are coordinated with how God sees us, how God intended us.

Schizophronia is a split consciousness, what served to designate the disease - schizophrenia. This is just when we have unreconciled, not united in a harmonious, chaste common side, which do not give us rest, tear our soul apart.

Therefore, in fact, these words - reconciliation with oneself - have a very deep ascetic basis associated with chastity, with consent, with a calm conscience.

Of course, reconciliation with yourself is a lifelong process, but you need to move.

And it happens that these words are perceived with the opposite, anti-ascetic meaning: as something that you need to accept yourself as I am. Like “this is how I was born, this is how God conceived me, even if he is responsible for everything.” This is precisely the point of view that completely distorts the position of being in agreement with oneself.

Very often such a substitution occurs when a person is invited to "tolerantly" accept himself sinful, himself fallen, himself decrepit, himself imperfect and strengthened in the idea that if God created you this way, then He is responsible for it, and you are not responsible for it. don't carry. This, of course, is wrong.

Often, in a different context, the same phrase “about agreeing with oneself” is perceived as a call to be oneself.

For example, Peer Gynt wanted to be himself, and then it was explained to him that in fact he does not want to be himself, but wants to be satisfied with himself. And these are very different things.

Harmonizing oneself with God’s plan for oneself means very seriously, intelligently, intently and constantly working with one’s soul and heart, consulting the Gospel, relying on the help of a confessor, loved ones whom you trust, who wish you not worldly good, but good in God, who They see the best and the worst in you. And in the opposite sense, it is, on the contrary, the rejection of any spiritual work.

When we ask for forgiveness at confession, confessing sins, will they then be mentioned at the Last Judgment so that everyone knows about them? Or, after all, what is confessed, in this we sincerely repented, will be crossed out and will no longer be remembered in eternity?

The Lord told us: "He who believes in me will not be put to shame." That is, a person who believes in the Lord will not be put to shame. The Lord will not desecrate this faith. And Elder Paisios the Holy Mountaineer said: The Good God endures us with love and does not put anyone to shame, although He knows, as a seer of the heart, our sinful state. So, we just have to believe that it will be the way that is best for us.

Can we ask God for revenge?

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The last preparatory week (the last day before) is called Cheesefare Week. This day ends the eating of milk, cheese and eggs. On this day, during the service, the fall of Adam and Eve is remembered: the first people were expelled from Paradise because they transgressed, violated the commandment of God. We should remember our sins, because the preparation for the great holiday begins with repentance, fasting and prayer.

Forgiveness Sunday. Worship and the "rite of forgiveness"

Forgiveness Sunday before Great Lent - a day of mutual repentance and appeasement of all the misunderstandings and disagreements that have happened between us, when we say to each other: “ Sorry!”, so that with a pure heart and a joyful soul, proceed to the upcoming feat. The gospel reading of this day indicates that true fasting should begin with the mutual forgiveness of insults and insults:

If you forgive people their sins, then your Heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive people their trespasses, then your Father will not forgive you your trespasses (Matthew 6:14-15)

This is the basis of the custom of Orthodox Christians on the last Sunday before fasting to ask for forgiveness from each other, which is why this very day is usually called by the people. forgiveness resurrection. It has long been customary on this day to ask for forgiveness, to put up and forgive the offenses inflicted, in order to proceed with a pure soul to the spiritual exploits of Great Lent, before the priest one's sins and take communion. For what is fasting, kneeling, and other bodily labors by which we subdue our carnal passions and lusts? This is only our weapon in spiritual warfare, the path to inner self-improvement and the acquisition of gospel virtues.

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, goodness, mercy, faith, meekness, temperance (Cor. 5:22-23).

But just as fruits cannot grow on their own, without a root and a tree that feed them, so the spiritual fruit is the result of many years of feat of abstinence and cutting off carnal lusts in order to purify the heart and soul and make them worthy of receiving God's grace.

Usually in Old Believer churches on Forgiveness Sunday, a service is performed in the evening - Vespers and Companion. After that, it takes place rite of mutual forgiveness when the parishioners earthly bow to the rector, asking for forgiveness and blessings for Great Lent. Likewise, believers bow to each other with the words:

Forgive me for Christ's sake!

- "God will forgive, and you forgive me for Christ's sake!".

This custom is ancient. Thus, the Frenchman Margeret, who was in Rus' in military service at the beginning of the 17th century, writes in his essay “The State of the Russian State and the Grand Duchy of Moscow”:

On Maslenitsa, Russians visit each other, kiss, say goodbye, make peace if they offended one another in word or deed, meeting even on the street - at least they have never seen each other before - they kiss, saying: “Forgive me, please”, the other answers: “ God will forgive you, and you forgive me."

It is known that the “rite of forgiveness” of the Grand Dukes and Tsars of Moscow included visiting Moscow monasteries, sometimes the sovereign also went to the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, saying goodbye to the brethren and asking for blessings. All this was done on, and on Sunday the rite of forgiveness was performed in the Assumption Cathedral. The king asked for forgiveness and blessings from the patriarch, said goodbye to his courtiers. It was also customary on this day to give freedom to prisoners.

The whole fortecost (the time from Monday of the first week of fasting to Friday of the sixth week inclusive) is the expectation of the day of Easter and preparation for it. Here is how it is said about this in the verse, which is sung on the evening of Forgiveness Sunday:

PThe 0st time is light, the beginning is 1m, in the advancement of the soul and the body. post1msz ћkozhe in the food, si1ce and 3 t vsskіz passions, nourishing virtues d¦a. in the future, let us remain in love2, but let us all2 see the all-honourable faith of hell bga, and 3 happy Easter, joyful.

Poetic and full of deep meaning, the Church Slavonic text of this stichera strengthens those who pray, teaches them that fasting is a joyful time. This prayer can be translated into Russian in the following words:

Let us begin the time of fasting lightly, joyfully, prompting ourselves to spiritual exploits, and purify our soul and body. Let us fast not only from food (refraining from food), but also from passions, feeding on the virtues of the Spirit. With love, let us perfect ourselves in virtues so that we can all be vouchsafed to see the Passion of Christ and celebrate Holy Pascha with spiritual joy.

Soulful teaching on Forgiveness Sunday

Love and forgiveness of mutual offenses are the main commandments in Christianity, without the fulfillment of which none of our good deeds can be pleasing before God.

So if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go, first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift (Mt. 5 , 24-25).

The venerable fathers call the fast of the Holy Lent spiritual tithe which we offer as a sacrifice to God, devoting this time to pure abstinence and prayer.

While we live on earth, our soul and body are inseparable from each other. If we are Christians, we must dedicate both to the service of God. There are commandments for the soul, there are also for the body. Following the example of the Holy Fathers and desiring eternal salvation, we cannot neglect or transgress even the slightest of them. The Ancient Patericon tells of a young monk who walked through the city to the tavern and, in response to the admonitions of an experienced hermit elder, who happened to be in the same place, said that God requires nothing but purity of heart. The old man exclaimed in sorrow:

I have been living in the desert for fifty years, and have not acquired purity of heart, and you want to acquire it in a tavern!

Soon that negligent and arrogant monk fell into a grave sin, because we cannot overcome our passions and desires if we do not move away from the cause that gives rise to them.

“Great is the feat and labor at the beginning of those who approach God in silence and silence; and then - unspeakable joy. Just as those who want to kindle a fire first endure smoke and shed tears, and in no other way achieve the desired goal; so those who wish to kindle the Divine fire in themselves must kindle it with tears and labors, with stillness and silence” (Meterikon).

When we undertake to weed our field in the summer, at first the work, as they say, “frightens the eyes”, but slowly, step by step, with difficulty and bows, we pull out the harmful thorns that can drown out and destroy all our good fruits. So, with the help of God, having overcome the first difficulties, we begin to notice that it becomes easier later on. Easily and joyfully we turn back when we see our noble plantings perked up, cleansed. It is easy and joyful for us to collect the fruits at the end of long-term painstaking work. So is fasting time: before the beginning it seems painful and uncomfortable, but gradually, day after day, freeing our soul from sinful thorns, we already notice some relief in the feat. A special joy is the bright Easter day, which we meet with a sense of accomplishment for the sake of the good labors and efforts endured.

Reasonable and moderate fasting is called by the holy fathers the basis and affirmation for all virtues. On Forgiveness Sunday, we remember Adam's expulsion from Paradise of sweetness, which was the result of intemperance and violation of the commandment of fasting, established for primitive man. Therefore, just as we lost incorruption and purity through intemperance from forbidden food, we are regaining them in an equal way, restricting our bodily needs in order to strengthen and affirm the soul for prayer and contemplation.

“Do not be deceived, you cannot free yourself from the mental pharaoh, nor see the Easter Passover, if you do not always eat bitter potion and unleavened bread. Bitter potion is the compulsion and patience of fasting, and unleavened bread is unpuffed-up wisdom. May this word of the psalmist unite with your breath:<бесы>I am cold, put on sackcloth and humble my soul with fasting, and my prayer is in the bosom<души моей>will return (Ps. 34:13).

Fasting is the violence of nature, the rejection of everything that pleases the taste, the extinguishing of bodily kindling, the extermination of evil thoughts, the liberation from bad dreams, the purity of prayer, the luminary of the soul, the preservation of the mind, the extermination of insensitivity of the heart, the door of compunction, a humble sigh, joyful contrition, the retention of verbosity, the cause of silence, the guardian of obedience, the relief of sleep, the health of the body, the cause of dispassion, the resolution of sins, the gates of Paradise and heavenly pleasure ”(“ The Ladder ”, word 14).

Here we see the way and example first of all from our Lord Jesus Christ Himself. He fasted for forty days in the wilderness, leaving an image for us to imitate Him without a doubt and walk in His footsteps. And the great saints and prophets of God, who were rewarded with special high revelations and grace - Moses, Elijah, Daniel, also went through a forty-day fasting field. Never and nowhere do the holy fathers praise those who work their womb. For the heart of a glutton is a receptacle for all impurity and bad desires, and the heart of a humble fasting ascetic is an abode for God's grace, if, of course, at the same time we preserve gentleness, prudence and other virtues, without which all our deeds cannot be saving and pleasing to God.

Lay not up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasure in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break through and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matthew 6:19-21).

Our true spiritual treasure is to be partakers of the eternal Paschal joy that the Lord has prepared for those who love Him. A bodily fast also presupposes a spiritual fast, i.e. to especially sensitively follow your inner man, the movements of the heart and soul. The holy fathers compare a fasting and silent person who harbors in his heart remembrance and condemnation of his neighbors with a poisonous asp hiding in its hole. If we say “forgive,” but we ourselves do not forgive, if only for the sake of ostentatious vanity we bow to the brother who offended us, and, stepping aside, we are again darkened with anger, then in vain we watch and fast, for the devil himself never eats and never does not sleep, but does not cease from this to be the devil. The heart of an angry and angry person is the home and haven of crafty demons. Nothing strips us of God's grace more than rancor and condemnation, hatred and slander. Here you can see the road to the very depths of the underworld and the treasury of eternal torment.

“Quick and strict judges of the sins of their neighbor are ill with this passion because they do not have a perfect and constant memory and care for their sins. For if a person saw his evil deeds exactly, without a veil of self-love, then he would no longer worry about anything else related to earthly life, thinking that he would not have enough time to mourn for himself, even if he were a hundred years old. He lived for years and at least saw a whole Jordan of tears flowing from his eyes. I watched the weeping of true repentance and did not find in it a trace of slander or condemnation” (“Ladder”, word 10).

Just as wasps and flies swoop in on sweet things, so the evil spirit rushes against every virtue in order to mix something harmful with it and turn back the salvific undertaking. Lenten abstinence was established for us by the holy fathers so that with a lightened soul we would acquire love and humility, meekness and mercy towards our neighbors. On the contrary, crafty spirits try to puff up the heart of the fasting person with vanity and arrogance and teach him to despise his weakest brethren. A self-loving person is always prone to harsh and harsh reproofs, while one who speaks to a brother in love will speak about the matter as if talking about his own weakness, and, no doubt, will achieve best result. For it is known that a cruel and insulting word can confuse a good person and move him to anger, while a good word spoken with meekness is really powerful in correcting evil in any person and instructing him to virtue.

Who eats, do not humiliate the one who does not eat; and whoever does not eat, do not condemn the one who eats: because God accepted him. Who are you, condemning someone else's slave? Before his Lord he stands or falls; and he will be raised, for the Lord is able to set him up (Rom. 14:3,4).

Whether we fast, whether we watch, whether we make many prostrations and otherwise humble our body, we must always remember that this is not an “end in itself”, but only a means to achieve the true goal: peace and purification of the soul. That even supernatural bodily asceticism will not bring us any benefit if we do not at the same time keep our first commandment about love for God and neighbor. When we live in big family, we love all our household members, we endure and resign ourselves to their infirmities, we endure the troubles and annoyances that they cause us, we always think how to support and console them. But we should have a similar and even greater love not only for our close relatives, but also for all the people around us. True love is known precisely in the forgiveness of slander and insults, when, having endured humiliation from a neighbor, we ache with our souls not about ourselves, but about our offender, and sincerely want to help him and calm him down.

“Forgive” is a word of love and comfort, when, having reconciled with a brother, we hope for forgiveness of our own sins. For all our righteousness is like the rags of an unclean woman before God. And if we can still count on indulgence, for the sake of our natural weakness, with a weak passage of bodily virtues, then hidden hatred in the heart has no reasonable justification for itself. And it destroys all our labors and deeds, forever separating us from God's grace, for “The Holy Spirit does not live where there is anger” (Nikon Chernogorets).

In the prologue from the Lives of the Saints (February 9th) there is one very a touching story about the holy martyr Nicephorus (c. 257), who suffered during times of severe pagan persecution.

Two friends lived in the city of Antioch - the priest Saprikios and the layman Nikifor, who loved each other in the Lord. But the devil envied their unfeigned love and sowed enmity between them. And this enmity flared up so much that if they even met on the street, they fled in different directions, blinded by demonic malice. And so both of them - Saprikios and Nikifor, having forgotten about the law of Christ, rushed to eternal death.
But over time, the layman Nicephorus repented of his anger at Priest Saprikios and began to ask his forgiveness. Three times he sent his friends and neighbors to him, considering himself a sinner and unworthy to approach the offended priest, and three times Saprikiy refused to reconcile. Finally Nicephorus made up his mind and fell at the feet of his former friend with words:
- Forgive me, father, for God's sake forgive me!
But Saprikios again did not want to reconcile with the humble Nicephorus, for Satan took possession of his heart.
At that time there was a terrible persecution of Christians, and Saprikios was brought to the judgment seat. The ruler demanded that he make sacrifices to the idols, but Saprikiy courageously replied:
- O ruler! We are Christians. Our King is the Lord Jesus Christ. He is the One, True God, the Creator of the earth and the sea. Your gods are demons. Let them die! Your gods are the creations of human hands!
They tortured him for a long time and cruelly, but Saprikiy, even in suffering, said to the chief:
- You have power over my body, but not over my soul. My Lord Jesus Christ, who created my soul, He alone has power over it.
Seeing the inflexibility of Saprikios, he was condemned to death. But when the executioner was already leading him to the place of execution, Nikephoros, hearing about this, ran and fell on his face before Saprikios, crying out with tears:
- Oh martyr of Christ! Forgive me, forgive me! I have sinned against you!
But Saprikios, blinded by malice, again renounced reconciliation.
Blessed Nicephorus begged him for a long time, but in vain. And then the power of God and grace departed from the insane priest, and Saprikios suddenly lost heart and renounced the Lord Jesus Christ.
- Oh, my beloved brother, - Nikifor exclaimed, - do not do this! Do not lose the crown of heaven, which you wove with many sufferings! Now the Heavenly Lord is preparing to appear to you and reward you with eternal joy for temporary suffering and death.
But having hated his neighbor and for this abandoned by God, Saprikiy continued to renounce. Then, strengthened by the Holy Spirit, Nicephorus turned to the pagans and said:
- I'm a Christian! I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and will not sacrifice to idols. I will take the execution instead of Saprikios.
Then, by order of the ruler, the apostate was released, and Nicephorus was beheaded. With his jubilation, his pure soul flew away to the Lord and, with all the holy martyrs, appeared before the throne of God, to Him is power and glory, honor and worship forever. Amen.

If possible on your part, be at peace with all people (Rom. 12:18).

If we do not dare to touch the shrine with unclean hands or come to the Divine service in unclean clothes, all the more so in impure heart, i.e. in unrepentant enmity and hatred against our brother - we cannot offer a spiritual sacrifice for God, so that instead of forgiveness of sins, we would not incur even greater anger and condemnation. Tears and repentance are a bath for the soul. Love and forgiveness is the path of reconciliation with God, the beginning and end of the path of salvation and perfection. Internal and external abstinence from sinful passions and desires elevate a person to the former property, from which ancient Adam fell due to negligence. But which, by the grace of God, is again revealed to us, if only we vigilantly and diligently follow all the wise commandments of the Lord, leading us to eternal salvation.

“The feat of virtue was opened, those who want to suffer enter, girded with the good feat of fasting. Those who are legally suffering are legally married. And we will take up all the weapons of the cross, we will resist the enemy, like an indestructible wall holding faith, and like an armor of prayer. And a helmet of alms. Instead of a sword, fasting cuts off all malice from the heart. Do this, the true one will receive a crown, from all the King Christ, on the Day of Judgment. ( Triode Lenten ).

Forgiveness Sunday in folk traditions

This is how the writer and ethnographer of the 19th century describes the folk traditions of the “forgiveness” Sunday. S.V. Maksimov.

The last day of Shrovetide is called "forgiven", and the peasants dedicate it with a charm. At 4 o’clock in the afternoon, a sad, Lenten Annunciation for Vespers is heard in the rural bell tower, and, having heard it, the peasants who have been spree earnestly cross themselves and try to shake off the merry Shrovetide mood: the crowded streets are emptying little by little, the festive conversation and noise subsides, fights, games stop, skating. In a word, the wide, drunken Maslenitsa abruptly stops and Great Lent comes to replace it. The approach of fasting is also reflected in the spiritual mood of the peasants, awakening in them the thought of repentance and complete reconciliation with their neighbors. As soon as the church bells stop and vespers depart, relatives and neighbors begin to walk around the huts, asking each other for forgiveness. The peasants bow down to the very ground and say: "Forgive me, for Christ's sake, in which I have sinned against you." “Forgive me, too,” the same request is heard in response.

However, this beautiful custom, full of Christian humility, began to die out little by little. According to our correspondents, in some central provinces it almost no longer exists, but in the forest provinces of the north, where customs are generally stable and strong, “farewell” is observed very strictly and there is even a special ritual for it. The visitor asks for forgiveness, kneels near the door and, turning to the hosts, says: “Forgive me with all your family, in which I have been rude to you this year.” The owners and everyone in the hut answer: “God will forgive you and we will be right there.” After that, those who came to say goodbye get up and the owners, having kissed with them, offer them refreshments. And after some hour, the owners themselves go to say goodbye, and the whole ceremony, including the treat, is done from the beginning.

So, moving from hut to hut, they walk until the light, and, passing along the street, both men and women consider it a duty to shout with all their might: “Madame Shrove Tuesday, stretch!” or: “Wet-lipped carnival, stretch!”

As for the village youth, they either do not adhere to the custom of saying goodbye at all, or their parting takes on a playful character. Here is what our Oryol correspondent reports on this matter: boys and girls stand in a row and one of the guys comes up to the last one on the right side and says to him: “Forgive me, dear Ivan (or dear Daria), in which I have sinned before you.” He (or she) answers: "God will forgive you and I will immediately." After that, they kiss each other three times. So the whole row passes by and stands to the side, the second goes to say goodbye to the first, etc. When parting, of course, it is not without jokes.

Some feature is parting in family circle. Here's how it goes in Saratov province. The whole family sits down for dinner (and the last dish is necessarily served with scrambled eggs), and after dinner everyone prays earnestly, and then the youngest begins to bow to everyone in turn and, having received forgiveness, goes to the side. Behind him, in order of seniority, the next oldest member of the family begins to bow (but does not bow to the youngest and does not ask for forgiveness from him), etc. The hostess bows last, and asks for forgiveness only from her husband, but the head of the family does not bow to anyone.

Although the custom of asking for forgiveness from relatives and neighbors, as has just been said, is noticeably falling into disuse, the custom of saying goodbye to the dead is extremely firmly held. At least our correspondents unanimously testify that this kind of farewell has been preserved everywhere. The custom of going to the cemetery on the last day of Shrove Tuesday is supported mainly by women. At four o'clock in the afternoon they go in groups of 10-12 with pancakes to the dead and try not to say anything along the way. At the cemetery, each one looks for her own grave, kneels down and bows three times, and with tears in her eyes, whispers: “Forgive me (name), forget everything that I have rude and harmed you.” After praying, the women put pancakes on the grave (and sometimes they also put vodka) and go home as silently as they came. At the same time, it is considered a good sign if on the third day there are no pancakes or vodka left on the grave: this means that the deceased lives in the next world not badly and that he does not remember evil and is not angry at the one who brought the treat.

Forgiveness Sunday is always celebrated before the first day of Lent. Everyone knows that you need to ask for forgiveness from family and friends. But it is important to answer correctly. Next, we will analyze how to respond to a request for forgiveness on Forgiveness Sunday, what words to say and what to put in them. Before fasting, you need to be sincere, of course it’s good to forgive the offenders, but it also happens that you can’t forgive, is it worth it then to dissemble? Or you can answer sincerely, without concealing malicious intent and without hiding the truth.

• Psychological moment
• History of Forgiveness Sunday

What words to choose to answer the request for forgiveness from the point of view of the Orthodox faith

Traditionally, on the last Sunday of Shrovetide week, which precedes Lent, we ask each other for forgiveness and in return forgive the offenders. But many are lost and do not know what words to choose when they hear a request for forgiveness. It is important to understand here that some people ask for forgiveness only because it is required by custom, out of habit, since this is the day. But the request must be answered. It is customary to say: "God will forgive!". Some still add: "And I forgive!".

Important! Speak these words sincerely, from a pure heart. Priests advise choosing other words if there is no forgiveness in the soul or there is nothing to forgive for. The best answer would be no accepted form but sincere, from the heart. If you cannot forgive offenses to someone who asks for forgiveness, answer that "God will forgive" and sincerely wish this. You can even say that you yourself cannot forgive yet, but you really hope that the Lord will grant forgiveness. Such an answer will help you come to terms with yourself inside before Lent and possibly bring you closer to the person who offended you.

If there is no offense and say that there is nothing to forgive for, do not take the request formally, treat this ceremony with soul and understanding, do not think about how to respond correctly to the request for forgiveness on Holy Sunday, answer as your heart tells.

Important! The formulaic answer that God will forgive is sometimes not welcomed by the church. You don’t need to answer like that if there is no forgiveness in your heart, and you don’t want the forgiveness of the Almighty to the offender. If this is a formal excuse, then it is also not worth mentioning the name of the Lord in vain once again. This violates the third commandment. Choose other words, you can even say that you cannot forgive. It will be better than hypocrisy. Well, if there is no resentment, then answer so.

The accepted answer “God will forgive” emphasizes that we are all sinners on this earth and have no right to judge or hold grudges. They will tell the one who asked for forgiveness that you are equal, that you are not going to judge, that you are turning to God for forgiveness and mercy. This is the essence of Christian forgiveness. In addition, the gospel speaks of the importance of forgiveness. By forgiving, we can also claim that we ourselves will be forgiven by the Lord.

Psychological moment

Psychologists say that it is necessary to respond to a request for forgiveness on Forgiveness Sunday, but how, the heart will tell. From the point of view of psychology, the template answer is not always correct. Even he can serve as a source of resentment. This is possible if no one has hurt each other. It is important to choose the right words and intonation.

If you were asked for forgiveness, paying tribute to tradition, say affectionately that there is nothing to forgive, that there are no offenses. To the one who has been forgiven, tell about it by all means. It will be important for a person who repents of having offended to hear sincere words of forgiveness.

You should not be formal about the need for forgiveness before starting a fast. It is important here to actually forgive, and not to choose words for an answer. But do not blame yourself for the fact that you cannot forgive, it is better to be sincere in front of yourself and loved ones.

Asking for forgiveness is one of the customs that have been established since ancient times, even in pagan times, like Maslenitsa itself. There are several customs on Forgiveness Sunday, all of them have the meaning of purification, letting go of those moments that pulled at the soul.

Other customs on Forgiveness Sunday

From ancient times in Rus' it was customary to spend the Maslenitsa week noisily and cheerfully, and on Forgiveness Sunday to ask for forgiveness, cleanse the conscience and body. Here's what happened that day:

1. Visit the baths. This is a symbolic rite of purification. They washed away all burdens and bodily dirt.

2. Ask for forgiveness. Remove from yourself all emotional experiences and worries, all that torments and torments.

Believers on this day go to the temple, confess, perform rites of reconciliation and purification.

It is not customary to spend this day noisily with fun and a feast. It is important to prepare for Great Lent physically and mentally.

History of Forgiveness Sunday

Before the beginning of the fast, which the monks spent in wandering and solitude, they asked each other for forgiveness for all insults, voluntary and involuntary. This was important because they spent all the days of the ambassador in strict restraint, not caring about the bodily, secluded. Many did not return, they died. The fact that they were forgiven before they died was of great importance both for those who passed away and for those who remained.

The Christian essence of the holiday of Forgiveness Sunday, the history of occurrence and meaning. How to behave on this day. Traditions of church worship in honor of the holiday. Folk traditions and festive table.

Forgiveness Sunday is a holiday of the highest Christian humility. On this day, an Orthodox person grieves for his pride and asks for forgiveness from those around him, whom he intentionally offended out of malice or simplicity of mind, or could offend by inadvertent word or deed, without even realizing this fact, succumbing to intemperance or spiritual blindness. However, it is important to sincerely forgive yourself, that is, to carry out such work on your own soul in order to be able to let go of grievances, even undeserved ones, and personally ask for forgiveness from the offended.

Why is Sunday called forgiveness?

The Church venerates Forgiveness Sunday on the eve of Great Lent, on Maslenitsa week. This day ends last week, in which it is allowed to eat milk, curd dishes and eggs in preparation for the upcoming forty-day fast. Reconciliation with the offended is the first step towards further work on oneself, towards the purification of the soul and preparation for deep repentance before Easter. With a relieved, reconciled soul, the believer enters the fast and strives for self-improvement, for God, in order to confess and deservedly partake of the Holy Mysteries, to acquire the gospel virtues in spiritual achievement.

What is the right way to ask for forgiveness?

For a long time there has been a tradition to sincerely and sincerely ask for forgiveness from colleagues, neighbors, relatives with the words: “Forgive me for having sinned against you!”, To which the answer follows: “God will forgive, and I forgive you, forgive me and you! » After that, a Christian kiss is performed three times on the cheek. In the event that a person cannot forgive and ask for forgiveness, the road to repentance and the Grace of God is closed to him, since pride has paralyzed his soul. Therefore, it is so important to sincerely pray for a once offended person, to see, first of all, one's own sins and personal imperfection. Even if he cannot forgive a long-standing sin, one must find the strength in oneself not to respond with anger, to consign to oblivion all that is bad, to avoid condemnation.

Advice. Start praying for your enemies and be sure to go to church for confession!

History of Forgiveness Sunday

The origins of this holiday originate from the life of the first righteous people of Egypt, who retired with prayers in the desert for 40 days to prepare for (becoming like the Lord), to overcome temptations and strengthen the soul.

In the waterless wasteland, great dangers awaited the ascetics: wild animals and poisonous insects, bodily weakness due to lack of water. Therefore, they asked each other for forgiveness, as if they were preparing for death, forgiving all sins. Gradually, this tradition was established in the rites of the Church.

In the Russian people, Forgiveness Sunday has always been revered: in families, the elders asked for forgiveness from the younger ones, the rich and noble from their servants and peasants. In the countryside, peasants went to visit their neighbors and relatives, visited the sick and remembered lonely relatives with a desire to help them as much as possible.

The king was the first to set an example of Christian humility: he asked for forgiveness from the monastic brethren and bishops, in the army from the soldiers, carried out an amnesty for the convicted and distributed alms everywhere. On this day, military operations were even suspended.

Worship in the temple

The service on Forgiveness Sunday begins with a recollection of the events of Adam's expulsion from Eden (Paradise) due to the fall. The priests serve the Liturgy in golden vestments, read the Gospel of Matthew and an excerpt from the Sermon on the Mount, which deals with forgiveness of offenses to others as an important condition for the Lord to forgive one's own sins, the condition for acquiring heavenly treasures. An analogy is drawn between the sinfulness of mankind and the state of the soul of fallen Adam. The lines of Adam's contrition about his own sins sound piercingly.

After the Liturgy begins Vespers, before which there is a reading of 9 hours. The service opens with the singing of the prokimen “Blessed is our God”, at the same time the clergy exit with incense. Next, the prokeimnas “Quiet Light”, “Do not turn Your face away from Your servant ...” sound. The prayer "Vouchee, Lord" is being made.

Evening prayers are performed in a minor tone. The rector reads aloud the prayer of St. Ephraim the Syrian with a triple bow. Then he pronounces "Vladyka Many-merciful", those present kneel.

Next is the Rite of Forgiveness.

The rector bows before the images of Jesus Christ and the Blessed Virgin Mary, kisses the cross and venerates the icons. There are stichera and prokeimenes, glorifying the Heavenly Father, the Holy Spirit, Christ and the Mother of God, calling for the spiritual feat of Lent and preparing for communion in eternal Paschal joy.

After that, the rector pronounces the text of the sermon, after which he humbly asks parishioners for forgiveness. The clergy present after him are applied to the images and to the cross. They ask each other for forgiveness. The laity also kiss the cross.

folk traditions

Forgiveness Sunday coincides with the period of mass festivities in honor of Maslenitsa, but this holiday is filled with deep spiritual meaning, it is the eve of fasting as a period of spiritual trials and struggle with passions.

In honor of the holiday, it was customary to set the table and convene close and distant relatives.

They prepared modest meals, excluding meat and poultry.

They put on the table:

- baked fish;

- fish snacks, caviar;

- pancakes simple and yeast on wheat, buckwheat, oat flour with sour cream and stuffing;

- dumplings and cheesecakes;

- pies and pies.

This feast brought together all relatives, young and older generations: here differences were smoothed out and long-standing grievances were forgiven. The traditions of the holiday are still alive today. It is customary to give gifts and make donations to the poor, to show mercy and love for others. At the courts of rich people, they set up a treat for the poor, anyone who wished could take part in it.

Traditionally, seeing off Shrovetide coincides with an equally important event - Forgiveness Sunday. On this day, be sure to communicate with loved ones and ask them for forgiveness.

At times we all do things we need to apologize for. It is not always possible for us to forgive our offender, but it is even more difficult to ask for forgiveness for our own mistakes. Forgiveness Sunday is a special holiday. On this day, you will have the opportunity to speak words of repentance to your loved ones. However, remember that your apology must be sincere.

Forgiveness Sunday is celebrated annually on the last day of Shrove Tuesday. Immediately after this, a long period of Lent will begin.

Meaning of Forgiveness Sunday

On Forgiveness Sunday, it is customary not only to apologize to other people, but also to forgive offenders. This is the main meaning of the holiday. Priests recommend asking for forgiveness only from those whom you really offended by word or action.

However, if you visit a church on this day, you will notice how people line up and ask for forgiveness from each other. This ancient church tradition originated on Mount Athos and eventually came to our country. It is believed that Forgiveness Sunday is intended not only for repentance to those who are offended by you, but also for the purification of the soul. On this day, it is customary not only to apologize and forgive other people, but also to engage in charitable deeds. It is strictly forbidden to enter into conflicts, complain about other people and spread rumors.

If a person apologizes to you on this day, be sure to say in response: "God forgives and I forgive". Thus, you make it clear that resentment is not a reason to become enemies. By learning to forgive people, you can change your life for the better.

What to do on Forgiveness Sunday

Visit the church. Forgiveness Sunday is an important day for Orthodox believers. It is necessary to visit the temple and attend the service, during which the priest and other parishioners will ask for forgiveness from each other.

Apologize to your loved ones. First of all, ask for forgiveness from your family. It is not necessary to list all grievances, once again recalling them. Just say: "I'm sorry". During repentance, your words must come from the soul, otherwise there will be no meaning in them.

Forgive your offenders. It is difficult to forget some grievances, but to refuse forgiveness to a person is a terrible sin. Try to forgive your offenders and release negative memories from your thoughts. One day you will realize that small conflicts are not worth a broken relationship.

Spend time with your family. In addition to Forgiveness Sunday, it is customary to celebrate Maslenitsa on this day. The ancient holiday is famous for entertainment and mass festivities. However, be sure to spend time with your family in the evening. Tell your loved ones at least a couple of kind words and ask for forgiveness again.

Ask for forgiveness from deceased relatives. Not only living, but also deceased relatives should hear your apologies. Visit the graves of the deceased and ask for their forgiveness. Be sure to forgive the dead for grievances in order to calm them and remove the burden from your soul.

Repent before the Lord. Every person commits sinful deeds, and only God can forgive you for them. It doesn’t matter whether you consciously committed a sin or not, be sure to visit the temple on Forgiveness Sunday and say a prayer for forgiveness. Before that, you must fully realize your mistakes and repent, otherwise your apologies will be false.

Get ready for the start of Lent. At this time, each believer begins preparations for Lent, which begins the very next day. After asking for forgiveness from your loved ones, do not forget to forgive the wrongs and let go of negative thoughts. So next week you can start life from scratch, and unpleasant memories are best left in the past.

Great Lent is a serious test for Orthodox believers. During this period, you will have to change your diet, excluding prohibited foods from it. However bodily post without spiritual purification is meaningless. To cleanse not only the body, but also the soul, it is recommended to start every morning with a strong prayer. We wish you strong faith and prosperity, and don't forget to press the buttons and

13.02.2018 07:59

Orthodox profess the principle of forgiveness, based on love for neighbors. In today's dynamic life full of conflicts...